22 weeks

I actually took a picture this week (well, Theo took it) on Tuesday which is technically when I started week 22! I can't believe I only have 18 weeks left! Whoa. Am I really ready to start all over again? Not much choice now, right? :)

I do know some things I will do differently this time. I will not beat myself up about breastfeeding. I will not kick myself for giving the baby formula if that means I can have a solid night of sleep. I will try my best to nurse successfully. But if my past record is any indication, my babies don't always thrive on breastmilk. And I am not going to go 9 months without sleep before giving in to formula!

I will relinquish all hope of having a natural childbirth. Again, the whole past record speaks volumes. And now that I have this whole aneurysm thing, I think I'll be a wee bit paranoid. Despite the cardiothoracic surgeon telling me all will be fine and I don't need any extra precautions, I can't help but wonder.

I will not spend a lot of money on newborn, or 0-3 month baby clothes. Olivia was stuck under a blanket in her carseat the whole time so what was the point in having her dressed cute? Plus, we already have boy and girl clothes. I will save my clothes money for when he or she is not confined to the carseat and people can actually see my well-dressed baby! :)

I will try very hard not to complain my last trimester about all of my aches and pains. Since there is a goodd chance I may never be pregnant again after this, I really don't want to take a minute of it for granted. Easy to say now that I'm only 22 weeks and relatively comfortable until I try to bend over!

My friend Amy and I were talking the other day and I was telling her how much more mellow I am the second time around (with Olivia). I have a more "if it ain't gonna hurt you or destroy the house, then what the heck" kind of mentality now. She said by the time baby #3 is here, I'll be so mellow I'll be borderline comatose! Ha!

If I would have known with Carter what I know now, I would have been soooooo less anxious! I have taken the kids out to eat by myself several times. With Carter, I was so paranoid to take him places by myself for fear I wouldn't know how to handle if he had a meltdown. With Olivia, I just knew when to go out and when to stay in and tried to work around her little schedule. At least as a brand new baby. And things flowed so much more smoothly. Since this baby is due in the middle of winter, I don't imagine we'll be making too many outings anyway at first.

So those are my thought this week. I'm trying to document as much as I can so I can cherish this time years from now. Have a good week!