Life on the Inside

As I have previously posted, I absolutely love feeling baby girl move around inside of my womb. In the past couple of weeks, Theo has really been able to feel her move too. I feel like it's such a bonding experience for all three of us. I wish Carter had the patience to lay his hand on my belly for a few minutes but he's not too that point yet!

It's such a comfort to know that God is forming this baby's parts according to his will. It's such a blessing to know God ordained her life from the beginning of time. It's such a miracle to be able to create another life.

I daydream about her all the time. It's different this time because I know she's a she. With Carter, I always wondered if he was a boy or girl so my daydreams were always a little vague. And now that I know what it's like to be a mom, give birth, breastfeed, raise a toddler, my daydreams are much more specific this time. I of course picture our beautiful daughter in my arms and then later as she's a little older and can wear all of the adorable clothes I have gotten for her.

This time, I'm a lot less nervous about everything. I am anxious about finding a doctor who will take me so close to delivery. I'm anxious about having our new house ready in time for her to come home. I'm not anxious about giving birth. I'm not anxious about whether I have to get induced or not, or if I have to have a c-section. I'm not anxious about recovering after birth. I'm not anxious about waking up all hours of the night. I'm not as anxious about breastfeeding. God blessed me so much with Carter. I know I was a bit idealistic with him but I really did pray not to have to be induced or have a c-section. I prayed that I would experience my water breaking in the middle of the night and us frantically trying to get to the hospital. I know that may sound silly, but that is what I thought childbirth would be like and I wanted that experience for myself. And you know what? God answered my prayers. So this time around, I'm not wishing or hoping for anything other than a safe and on-time delivery and a healthy beautiful daughter.