16 weeks

I am feeling better and better everyday. Not that I was feeling bad before, but I am glad I have some energy. I have been very productive the past several days and it feels good!

I had my quad screen drawn yesterday and should hopefully have the results by Friday. I'm not too stressed out about it since the first trimester screen was normal. I also have my fetal echo and high risk ultrasound on September 3rd. I can't say I'm not stressed out about that one. I am. But I am trying so hard to lean on my heavenly Father's arms and rest in His peace.

I'm pretty sure we are set on not finding out with we're having a boy or girl. I think I can wait....but we'll see! The most important thing for us is having a healthy baby. That is what we're praying so hard for....boy or girl, it's already been decided.

Speaking of babies, I can't believe our other baby is almost one! I've been super busy this week working on Olivia and Carter's birthday party plans. I'll blog more about that on my other blog! Have a great week :)

OB appointment

Had a good appointment this morning. Baby's heartbeat was 138. At our 10 week ultrasound it was in the 160s so I'm not sure what to think in terms of the baby's gender. I know the heartrate is really an old wivestale anyway!

She said I don't have to come back every week since I'm feeling baby move now. She was really just doing that for my peace of mind. I'm sure I'm the most paranoid pregnant patient she has right now!

I gained a pound! That will make Theo happy. So maybe I really am as big as I look in that picture and I'm just in denial :)

I will call the high risk OB office tomorrow and hopefully get my appointment for the ultrasound/fetal echo. Theo is potentially going to New York next month so I want to do it before he goes out of town.

That's all folks!

15 weeks

I know this probably isn't the first time I've said this nor will it be the last time, but I PROMISE, I am not as big as a I look in this picture! Ha! To my own defense, I had just eaten a big bowl of gumbo so I'm hoping that's why I look like Shamu! I'm still in my regular clothes (except my khaki maternity capris b/c my regular kapris don't fit!). I'm trying to hang on for a couple more weeks to get good use of my new summer clothes!

It's hard to believe I'm already 15 weeks. The first trimester went by pretty fast. I think the fact I didn't have any morning sickness made it so much better. I hope the next four weeks will go by even quicker so we can find out if everything is okay with the baby.

I have a regular OB appointment tomorrow even though I was just there less than a week ago. I am definitely feeling the baby move now! I probably have been but it's hard for me to find time to lay down, be still, and concentrate. When I do find those moments, I feel little one squirming around. Sunday night, Theo and I went out on a date to see a movie (Salt) and the baby was really moving then. I don't think baby like the loud noises. Exactly a year ago we went to see GI Joe for Theo's birthday and I was big pregnant with Olivia. She kicked me hard almost the whole time. I think she didn't like all the noises either!

I think Theo and I are almost 100 percent decided we aren't going to find out this baby's gender. I think it will be fun to be surprised again. We'll see. I am nothing if not prone to change my mind!

This week, the baby is about 4 inches long and weighs about 2 1/2 ounces (roughly the size of an apple). How exciting to think about the baby growing. I'm really cherishing everything this time knowing it will most likely be the last time I'm ever pregnant. I still go back and forth about having a 4th baby but obviously that won't be decided any time soon! So in case this baby is our last, I want to savor it, appreciate it, cherish it. I remember when I hit about 33 weeks with Olivia, I was so miserable, so emotional, and such a whiny baby! I am going to try very hard not to be that way this time. Pregnancy is such a blessing and I want to relish it all.

I am so excited about having this baby! At first, I was totally overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, questioned how I would manage. But now, I truly am so excited! I can't wait to meet this little bundle of joy. Even though I still have a baby (Olivia!), I am looking forward to starting over again. I won't enjoy breastfeeding around the clock or sleepless nights, but I will try my hardest to remember every good moment of being a mom.

14 weeks

I am 14 plus weeks today! First trimester is over with only a hint of morning sickness! Can you believe it? I truly can not. I don't know what it's like to be pregnant without throwing up all the time. Well, I guess I know now. Man, if I would have known pregnancy could feel this good....no, I guess I still wouldn't have a 4th :)

I had a regular OB appointment today. It was uneventful. I haven't gained any weight, much to the dismay of my husband. We heard the baby's strong heartbeat. Dr. R wants me to come every week until I start feeling the baby move more. She assures me everything so far is fine but doesn't want me to be anxious. And if hearing the baby's heartbeat every week or even every day helps me, then she said I should come in. I appreciated what she was trying to do but it may be more anxiety producing to drag the kids across town every week!

I dreaded my appointment today all week. I think because the last few times I've gone to the doctor, I was given bad news. I don't want that to happen again. I'm praying and trying to believe for nothing but good reports here on out. But I can't help but feel gripped by fear and anxiety occassionally. I wasn't going to have Theo come with me but in the event something happens, I want him to be there. He has been my rock through all of this and I don't know what I would do without him.

I feel like I'm being cautiously optimistic about the baby's health. I don't want to pretend that everything is going to be fine and then have a bomb dropped on me. So right now, I'm walking a fine line between trusting God and trying not to worry. I am such a worrywart by nature that I feel like I'm doing pretty good considering what we could potentially be facing. The waiting to know things is by far the hardest part. Waves of knots in my stomach, uncertainty about the baby's future, our future, not knowing what to plan for, thinking our entire lives could be altered, those are all hard to deal with. I will be glad to finally have some answers even if the outcome is less than what we hope for. At least then I'll know what to expect.

Don't get me wrong, I am so relieved the baby's first trimester screen came back normal and the baby will most likely not have Down's or one of the other trisomies. But that one test doesn't rule out a whole list of other possibilities the baby might have. And as far as the baby having a heart defect, it will be another month at least before we know that. One more month of waiting. This is one drawback to being in the medical field....I know enough to make myself dangerous. My tendency is to research everything to death and subsequently make myself literally sick with worry. I've given up researching everything at this point but all I have already seen is still in the back of my mind.

13 week comparison

I just read my mom's comment to post my 13 week with Olivia and my 13 week picture this time. So here is my much bigger belly with Olivia:



And my medium-sized belly this time:


Ironic that I was a lot bigger before considering I haven't lost any weight this time! Also, this time, I am really trying hard to fit into my regular clothes for longer since it's summer. But yesterday, I changed pants/shorts three times before deciding on which ones were most comfortable!

Up and running again!

Wow, I'm already mostly through my first trimester! I'm 13 1/2 weeks today. Here is what my belly is looking like:


I have had basically no morning sickness this time! That is almost impossible for me to believe. I think God gave me a special grace considering everything else I was dealing with in these early weeks!

I'm not in maternity clothes yet but some of my shorts and pants are getting a little snug. Depending on what time of day it is, sometimes I have a pooch. The less I eat, the better my clothes fit! At 14 weeks with Olivia I was pulling out the maternity clothes. But since I just wore all of them last year, I'm not in a hurry to be sporting them again! I want to wear my cute summer clothes for as long as I can. I don't think I've gained any weight yet. If I have, it's only a half a pound or so. Usually by this point in my otehr pregnancies, I am way underweight from all of the morning sickness. But thankfully, not this time!

I'm sure most of you are aware that the baby may or may not have some medical problems. It's still a little too early to tell. But we are praying and believing for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. And if not, we know God has our best interests at heart.

We are undecided whether or not to find out the baby's gender. At first, I would have said 100% I want to find out. Theo said he didn't. And now, since this will most likely be our last baby, it may be fun for it to be a surprise! Today, I'm leaning towards not finding out. But anyway who knows me, knows I'm prone to change my mind!

I guess the main reason to find out would be to pick out some bedding. But if this baby is anything like Olivia, he/she won't be sleeping in a crib for a few months so I supposed bedding could wait. I think the baby will most likely share a room with Olivia, regardless of gender, even though we do have a 4th bedroom. Right now that room is a guest room and it's nice to have one for when family/friends come to visit. So we'll see. I have a feeling I'm going to be a lot more laid back this pregnancy.

I will write more about my first several weeks but I don't want to put it all out there in my first pregnancy blog post!

End of one journey....the beginning of the next

Olivia is one month old today! So in honor of that, I want to close out this baby-in-waiting blog with the story of the day she was born. It's probably going to be a long one so here goes....

I will confess, the last week leading up until her birth was very stressful. God had answered my prayers with Carter's birth and things happened almost exactly like I wanted them to. So I just figured, things would go as planned this time too. I had also really wanted to have a natural childbirth this time and had been preparing myself for that. But I knew if I had to get induced, the possibilities of that would be slim. I didn't tell many people about my desire to give birth without an epidural because if I couldn't go through with it, I didn't want to feel like a failure.

I have already blogged about how stressful it was the week she was born between being told I could come for my induction, to being told I would have to wait a few more days, to stressing out about my mom not being here for long after Olivia was born. I was a hormonal wreck! But then finally, Saturday morning at 5:15 we were on our way to the hospital. It was dar, cold, and raining and I was nervous the whole drive there.

Once we got there, I was a little more calm. The nurse said Dr. R wouldn't be there until around 8:00 so it was just more of the waiting game. When she checked me, I was dilated to 3-4 cm and was 70% effaced. Theo slept on the couch and I tried to will myself into labor so I wouldn't have to actually be induced. That didn't really work. :) Dr. R. finally came a little after 8 a.m. and I asked her if she would just break my water and see what happens before starting the pitocin. She obliged. So at about 8:20, she broke my water. At that point, I was still 4 cm and about 80% effaced. I was expecting that part to be painful for some reason but it wasn't.

It was a good hour before I started having any contractions and when I did start to, they were pretty mild and about 4 minutes apart. I thought, ok, I can do this without an epidural. Then they started getting stronger and stronger and closer together. I was able to walk around in the room without being attached to the monitors and that seemed to help. I remember Theo massaging my back which was killing me from having sat in the bed for so long in the same position.

At 11:15, the nurse checked me again because I felt like I had been having stronger contractions. But no change really. I was about 4-5 cm and 80% effaced. She said she didn't think I needed the pitocin and to hold out for the epidural. Around lunch time, while I was in the bathroom, we heard a knock on the door. I assumed it was my nurse or Dr. R but was so excited when I saw my mom walk in the room. She said my best friend Meredith had driven in to watch Carter to my mom could be here with me for a little while. I was so happy! She was there with us while we had Carter and I was so thankful for that.

At 12:30, Dr. R checked me again and I thought for sure I had made some progress because I was hurting really, REALLY bad! I knew at that point I wouldn't need the pitocin but that my labor would probably be longer than it had been with Carter. I told Theo that if I had had some cervical changes and was making progress, I would still hold off on the epidural. But I was still the same and had only dilated 1 cm in about 4 hours, forget that, I want the epidural. Sure enough, I was still at 5 cm. I was hurting so bad that I couldn't imagine going for much longer without any pain relief. So I said, I'm ready for the epidural now.

At 12:45 the anesthesiologist came in. He looked young but he was friendly enough. He asked if Theo was the dad. I said yes of course. They were getting everything set up and Theo got to stay in the room with me. That was nice. I wasn't nervous about getting the epidural though. All I wanted was to stop hurting and to able to relax a little. I made a comment about "my husband something or another" and the anesthesiologist asked if we were married. I said "No, I'm married but he's just my baby's daddy!" And the doc said that I had made it seem that way and we all laughed. It was so funny! I was thinking DUH, of course this is my husband. But I guess you never know these days!

By 1:15, the epidural was in and I was immediately much more relaxed. I could still feel pressure and I wasn't completely numb (which is normal) but the pain was gone.

At 1:40, I was dilated to 9 cm and had bloddy show. I couldn't believe I had progressed that fast, but that is exactly what happened with Carter. Ten minutes later, I had the strongest urge to push, as if she were about to come out. But I didn't want to get the nurse just yet. My contractions were coming relaly close together. Finally, at 2:00, I said, please go get the nurse. She checked me and said I was complete. She called Dr. R. and said "We're about to have a baby!". I pushed a couple of times before Dr. R. came in. Man, it hurt! Dr. R was awesome though. She did a couple of things that prevented me from having an episotomy. I remember feeling like my face was about to explode as I was pushing. I remember the nurse, who was a little drill-instructor-like telling me to push, push harder, push her to the ceiling. That helped me so much though. My mom is holding one foot and the video camera (all filming was done tastefully, nothing I wouldn't show other people) and Theo is holding my other foot. I guess they didn't have stirrups on those beds or if they did, didn't want to use them. And then finally after 18 minutes of pushing, Olivia Gabrielle Elizabeth was born!


I remember Dr. R telling me to look down and see her and hold her but it took me a few minutes to register what she was saying. I was so relived to finally have given birth and when I held her, I just cried. I will never forget hearing my mom cry too and how exciting this must be for her too to watch her daughter have a daughter. I remember Theo got to cut the cord and when he clamped the scissors down, I said "Oww!" Dr. R laughed and said in her 18 years, she had never had anyone say that. I just wanted to play a joke on Theo. Olivia cried right away. The nursery nurse put her on the scale and she weighed 7#s 11 ounces. I couldn't believe how much bigger she was than Carter! I thought she would be because of how uncomfortable I had been. We all held her and passed her around and made lots of phone calls. What an amazing day!

After my bleeding was under control, we were sent to the postpartum wing and the nursery nurse had requested the "suite" for us. It was a huge room, mainly used for when hospital employees give birth and I was so lucky to have it. It had a queen sized bed, a dining room table with four chairs, a full sized couch. It was great. The nurses from that day were awesome! About 28 hours after she was born, we were on our way home. I couldn't wait to get back home to Carter. I didn't want to stay in the hospital one more minute even though it was a great hospital and we had a wonderful experience. I was just anxious to get our new life started.

When we got home, mom and Carter had made some signs for outside and hung balloons on the window. When Carter saw us, he started screaming excitedly and saying "Olivia is home!". What a sweetheart.

So now a month later, things are good. We are adjusting to life as a family of four. I miss being in Louisiana though close to that part of our family. But thankfully, I have a wonderful and very helpful husband who makes things so much better. And I have a God who is able to meet all my needs and who has brought me the greatest blessings in life. Happy one month birthday Olivia! We love you more than life itself.

Until next time.........